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| Well it's a new year! A happy, wonderful, amazing new year.
I had so much that went on "last" year; 2006, rather. I experienced times that were intense, lovely, amazing, frightening, rewarding, helpful... basically anything you can think of. I've changed, and I can honestly and confidently say it was for the better. I did something I am anything but proud of a couple of months ago, but I know in my heart that's the only regret I'll ever have. I think I've rounded and grown up so much this past year.
There have been fights, boyfriends, parties, good times and bad times... and I think this last year was about time I grew up.
...Yay.
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| Hello Xanga world!
Why oh my goodness. My last entry, only 10 days ago, received a very unexpected 11 comments. That's odd; I didn't think anyone actually visited my xanga anymore.
Anyway, I decided to get a facebook. I'm a fag, I know. BUT, I will not spend 24/7 on it! Uhh... I promise? I won't. I have more self controll than you think [;.
So, main event... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
It's exactly one year and one day from last year's Christmas Eve when I posted a xanga entry saying "Happy New Year's Eve". Funny how those things just come to you a year later right before you go to sleep...
So today I got a sewing machine, a CREATIVE mp3 player, one pair of brown sweat pants, one pair of jeans, a really soft green robe, and 5 shirts: one solid black, one printed/brownish, and three Auburn University t's. I also got a lot of candy, three pairs of knee high socks, a pair of slipper-like things that are about 4 sizes too big on my midget feet... 2 Strawberry Shortcake puzzles, and a whistling key finder? Haha, I lose my keys a lot.
How was everyone elses' Christmas? Hanuka? Quanza? Tell me about it, guys!
Kay, so tomorrow, Kathryn and I decided we're going to the park. Who would like to join us? You're very welcome if you want to! Just call my cell phone- you should have it. [:
Alrighty, well some Christmas desert is calling me upstairs. Goodnight everyone!
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| Xanga`s are lame, aren`t they?
I`ve decided to start using this again, just the same; Only because it`s better than Myspace. And sorry everyone, I WILL NOT GET A FACEBOOK. Oh goodness those things are so lame. I might get one for photography, which kind of kills everything I just said. BUT, that`s only because I can post ALL of my pictures. Sorry guys, I`m not obsessed with taking pictures of myself anymore... [:
Be proud.
I hate the internet. I really do. I hardly ever get on myspace, now. I only go on when I am sooo bored and don`t have school work or reading to do and if it`s just too cold to go running.
Anyway, NEWS! I love love love my new house. It is soo spectacular! I chill in my greenhouse with my plants a lot. It`s basically awesome. What else, what else?
Oh oh! Wednesday was only the best day ever! I talked to Reed in the hallway, like we were best friends again. So hey, if you read this, best friend, send me a comment. [:
Hah, that`s doubtful, however. He`s on the computer less than I am.
Moving on- I`m so happy because I know God has been listening to a lot of my prayers lately. I mean, I know he always listens, but things are happening with them. I had a bad fight with my mom a couple of weeks ago, and I was so upset I cried myself to sleep, praying to God to give me the strength to change how I treat them and to get them to accept me and recognize that I really am trying. We`re all getting along pretty well, now. I love it. That`s just one of the things. [:
Today in Horticulture we wrote letters which we will receive one year from now. We were supposed to write 3 goals for next year and to write the wonderful things in our lifes. I cannot wait until a year from now. Today helped me realize how amazingly thankful I am for everything. I know, I know; thats for Thanksgiving... but I didn`t do Thanksgiving this year... so it`s just now hitting me.
This is probably one of the most choppy and random entries I`ve ever written. Oh well.
Hopefully I will get to go to the play at Pope tonight. I want to see it so bad!
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| I realize now, at this moment, the most important thing in my life at this point in time is to get back what I once treasured most.
Not the relationship, per say, but the friendship. He shall probably never read this, but I beat myself up everynight for walking away when he said, "You said 'no matter what we'll always be best friends'". As much as I wanted to go on, I walked away. I was hurt.
Now I'm afraid I realized all of this way too late. I'm not sure what I'm to do, but him being the best friend I've ever had is more important to me than anything. Call me crazy, call me overly dramatic, call me emo; but this is the one mistake in my life that I want to go back and change. The only thing I learned was that I shouldn't have made the mistake in the first place. Sounds to me like my optimism is slipping.
Not sure why I'm writing this in my Xanga. Maybe it's the off chance that he might see it, and comment me. Let me know that he sometimes thinks of our best friendship. Chances are slim, but I'll take the risk. I want this, on record- internet diary is something I can hopefully come back to years later. I never want to forget the pain and ignorance I have experienced the last couple of months. I don't blame it on being broken up with; I blame myself for not thinking clearly. I blame myself for holding a grudge agaisnt the one person I knew for a fact would never hold one against me.
I've gotten really big into church lately. Every Tuesday I go to Starbucks for Bible study. It's become an amazing part of my life and I cherise every moment. My faith is coming back. But every night, in the back of my head -still- I'm praying to God that just for a moment he might consider being my friend again. Oh dear Lord, please I pray to you right now- as I am saying this outloud as I write it- that you hear my prayers, and consider them. Don't let him forget me. Don't let him fail to notice me every once in a while when I try and smile at him in the hallway. Please, I pray to both of you: don't give up on me.
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| Don't know why I'm posting an entry.
Possibly because it's pretty sad to end on a entry like the last. You all probably don't actually give a damn, so no worries. Happy highlights of my day for now on.
Like today.
No one was there.
and I discovered the amazing warmness and confortableness of long underwear.
Quite possibly the best part of winter is the long underwear.
Argue with me, and I'll make you wear them. THEN try to argue with me.
Now, excuse me while I go to bed with the warmest booty in Marietta.
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